Do you realize how special you are?

Self-esteem, self-love, and self-respect are all tools that children need to become successful adults. Looking at Preschoolers you will see that most are very proud of themselves and their accomplishments. As children enter grade school and beyond often this feeling is lost and replaced with self doubt and self loathing. When a child begins to doubt themselves it leaves a hole in their life that can be filled with unhealthy things: bullying, drugs, alcohol, sex, eating disorders, cutting, etc. The list of problems related to a low self-esteem is long and painful.

The following activity is designed to remind students just how special they really are:

Put a large mirror in the bottom of a big box with a lid on it. Have the students line up. Have them look into the box one at a time and promise that they will not share with the other students what they see.  Tell them that they will see "something special" when they look into the box.

Once all the students have looked in the box and returned to their seats, have them write on a piece of paper three things they LOVE about themselves. Allow the student to share what they wrote if they want.

Ask them how thinking about what they love about themselves made them feel? Thinking positive thoughts about oneself is a great tool to help get through difficult times. Tell the students to keep the paper in a safe place and look at it whenever they feel sad or someone has been mean to them.

( adapted from lesson created by Mary Ann Gleason)

Every decision you make has one intented consequece...

Every decision you make has at least one intended consequence and at least two unintended.

Youth do not automatically have the brain development for critical thinking and seeing the bigger picture. It has to be taught. In a world of instant gratification the art of thinking before acting is often lost. The decisions made without thinking things through can be the cause of things to happen that are unattended. The problem arises when people feel that because it was not done on purpose that therefor they forgo any responsibility for the outcome. Just because you didn't mean to do it doesn't mean that you are not responsible.

Work with the kids on the following examples. Have them tell you the intended consequence and at least 2 unintended consequences. Let the kids steer the discussion. The age brackets of your students will often dictate how deep the discussion goes. When students bring up the more difficult subjects in society, such as drugs, rape, pregnancy etc.; I acknowledge them by saying "good point" and leave the subject alone.

Some scenarios to think about:

• A student cheats on a test. The intended consequence is a better grade. What are two unintended consequences?
• A couple of friends are home alone and decide to take out the 4-wheeler into the field even though they are not allowed to take it out when no one is home. Intended consequence: to have fun running the 4-wheeler. What are two unintended consequences?
• Two girls tell their parents that they are spending the night at each other's house. They then walk to a party down the street. Intended consequence: to enjoy a party they wouldn't have been allowed to go to. What are two unintended consequences?
• A group of boys have a sleep over and decide to drink the parents alcohol. Intended consequence: to experiment with alcohol. What are two unintended consequences?
• A teen isn't allowed to date and told her mom that she is hanging with friends at the mall and meets a boy to go to the movies. Intended consequence: to go on a date. What are two unintended consequences?
• A friend tells you a secret, you promise not to tell, though you are worried you decide not to tell. Intended consequence: You keep your promise. What could two unintended consequences be?

Ask the students for examples of things they have done or that they have heard happened where the people should have thought things through more.  (Remind the students that you want NO NAMES and that what is heard in the room, stays in the room.)

Personal Responsibility

Personal Responsibility is one of the main keys to good character development. When people do not acknowledge their own actions and feelings for good or bad, it creates a victim like mentality. By teaching children to recognize the dual nature within them, we help to end the cycle of “It’s not my fault!”

Read this Cherokee Tale to the class:

Two Wolves - A Cherokee Tale

A Cherokee is telling his grandson about a fight
that is going on inside himself.
He said it is between 2 wolves.

One is evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret,
fearful thinking, greed, arrogance, self-pity,
guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good: Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute
and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The Cherokee simply replied, "The one I feed."

~ Author Unknown ~

Activities:

·      Ask the student for examples of when they have feed both wolves. Give your own personal examples. This helps the students understand that everyone struggles with emotions.

·      Have the students draw both of their wolves and list examples of behavior for each of their wolves.

·      What things can the students do to keep the good wolf well fed so that the bad wolf stays away?

·      Is it easier to recognize which wolf is active in other people or yourself? Why?

Class Rules

It is important to set up class rules immediately. The character class has to become a safe place for students to share and learn.

Here are some basic ground rules:

• Emphasize that the classroom (or where ever you are teaching) is a safe place. We are here to share and learn from each other.
• Don't speak when someone else is speaking. Raise your hand when you want to be heard.
• Respect other students by really listening to what they have to say. Don't judge yourself or anyone for what is said or shared.
• No Names are to be mentioned. If you tell a story about what someone said or did, just say "this person" instead of their name.
• NO GOSSIPING! Do not repeat what you heard about other students to anyone. You don't want anyone repeating what you have shared.
• It is okay to talk to others about the lessons you have learned. By sharing character lessons, they too can become character teachers.

Ice Breaker Day II

In the first icebreaker you had the students create name tents with three things about themselves and to answer the question: What kind of vehicle do you think I drive?

Hand the name tents back out to the kids and ask then one by one what type of car they think you drive. Compile the answers and ask the kids why they choose the certain type of car. Why did some choose a mini van, a 4-door sedan or a truck?

When you have the information, let the class know what type of vehicle you drive.  Then discuss with them, the idea of stereotypes.

The last class I did this with were tied between a mini van and a nice business type car. They choose the mini van because they knew I was a mom and they choose the nice business car because I was in high heels. Some choose a truck because they knew I had a mini farm.

The correct answer was a mini van. It gave us an opportunity to discuss how we judge people, maybe for the clothes we wear, the fact that we are parents, or where we live. It also opens up the discussion for times when they have felt they were stereotyped for good or bad.

Ice Breaker

Have a piece of card stock paper for each student. Choose light colors, you want to be able to see the writing on them from the front of the room.

·         Ask the kids to fold the paper in half to make a name tent. 

·         On the outside have the students write their name in bold pen/marker

·         On the inside have the student write the following things

o   Write 3 things about yourself

o   What kind of vehicle do you think I drive? (The answer for this will be used in Ice Breaker Day 2)

·         Complete one for yourself. Make it clear what you want the students calling you. I preferred Ms. Jenny, so this let the students know I wanted that versus Mrs. Schiltz.

·         Once the students have completed the activity, ask for volunteers to share what they wrote.

·         At the end of class, collect the name cards. Bring them to future sessions.

This activity has multiple purposes:

o   It allows you to get to know the students names and little things about them.

o   It gives the students information about you as well.

o   Upon returning to the class room – have fun with yourself and see if you can remember which name card belongs to the student. When you make a mistake, make light of it. You are then showing the kids that you are human, not perfect and that mistakes are OK, as long as you keep trying. Practice this each time you return to class until you have memorized the names of each student.