Every decision you make has one intented consequece...

Every decision you make has at least one intended consequence and at least two unintended.

Youth do not automatically have the brain development for critical thinking and seeing the bigger picture. It has to be taught. In a world of instant gratification the art of thinking before acting is often lost. The decisions made without thinking things through can be the cause of things to happen that are unattended. The problem arises when people feel that because it was not done on purpose that therefor they forgo any responsibility for the outcome. Just because you didn't mean to do it doesn't mean that you are not responsible.

Work with the kids on the following examples. Have them tell you the intended consequence and at least 2 unintended consequences. Let the kids steer the discussion. The age brackets of your students will often dictate how deep the discussion goes. When students bring up the more difficult subjects in society, such as drugs, rape, pregnancy etc.; I acknowledge them by saying "good point" and leave the subject alone.

Some scenarios to think about:

• A student cheats on a test. The intended consequence is a better grade. What are two unintended consequences?
• A couple of friends are home alone and decide to take out the 4-wheeler into the field even though they are not allowed to take it out when no one is home. Intended consequence: to have fun running the 4-wheeler. What are two unintended consequences?
• Two girls tell their parents that they are spending the night at each other's house. They then walk to a party down the street. Intended consequence: to enjoy a party they wouldn't have been allowed to go to. What are two unintended consequences?
• A group of boys have a sleep over and decide to drink the parents alcohol. Intended consequence: to experiment with alcohol. What are two unintended consequences?
• A teen isn't allowed to date and told her mom that she is hanging with friends at the mall and meets a boy to go to the movies. Intended consequence: to go on a date. What are two unintended consequences?
• A friend tells you a secret, you promise not to tell, though you are worried you decide not to tell. Intended consequence: You keep your promise. What could two unintended consequences be?

Ask the students for examples of things they have done or that they have heard happened where the people should have thought things through more.  (Remind the students that you want NO NAMES and that what is heard in the room, stays in the room.)

Personal Responsibility

Personal Responsibility is one of the main keys to good character development. When people do not acknowledge their own actions and feelings for good or bad, it creates a victim like mentality. By teaching children to recognize the dual nature within them, we help to end the cycle of “It’s not my fault!”

Read this Cherokee Tale to the class:

Two Wolves - A Cherokee Tale

A Cherokee is telling his grandson about a fight
that is going on inside himself.
He said it is between 2 wolves.

One is evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret,
fearful thinking, greed, arrogance, self-pity,
guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good: Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute
and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The Cherokee simply replied, "The one I feed."

~ Author Unknown ~

Activities:

·      Ask the student for examples of when they have feed both wolves. Give your own personal examples. This helps the students understand that everyone struggles with emotions.

·      Have the students draw both of their wolves and list examples of behavior for each of their wolves.

·      What things can the students do to keep the good wolf well fed so that the bad wolf stays away?

·      Is it easier to recognize which wolf is active in other people or yourself? Why?